Houseguest accidentally lets homeowner's cat outside, causing the cat to disappear for days, cat owner demands guest pay for the vet bill, but she refuses: 'It's not fair to make me pay'

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    Cat Visiting Vet, title: "She let my cat out, agreed to cover the vet bill, then backtracked and blamed me"
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    AITAH for making my best friend pay for a vet bill?

    This is a long one, so sorry in advance. I (f, mid- 20s) have two cats and a dog.
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    My cats are strictly indoor-only. My best friend "Kylee" (f, mid-20s) was coming into town for work and asked to stay at my house while I was on a trip.
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    She's always welcome, so I said yes. My boyfriend (mid-20s) would be home.
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    Fast forward - while I was driving home from vacation (8 hours away), I got a frantic call at 11:30 PM from Kylee saying she accidentally let my very skittish rescue cat outside.
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    She panicked. I told her to wake up my boyfriend, and they searched until 1 AM but couldn't find her.
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    I had them set up food, water, dirty laundry, and a litter box outside.
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    At 6 AM, I called Kylee once to wake her to check the cameras. She looked for a few minutes, went back inside, and went back to bed.
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    She told me she might not even go to work that day. Meanwhile, I drove through the night and got home exhausted.
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    The next few days were brutal. My boyfriend and I set traps and checked cameras constantly. After 4 days, we finally caught my cat.
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    Kylee's reaction when she was told was just, "Oh thank God." She didn't come check on her, didn't ask how she was, nothing.
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    I decided to take my cat to the vet to make sure she was okay. When Kylee was leaving for work, I asked if she'd cover the vet bill since she was the one who let my cat out (accident or not).
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    She agreed and asked for an estimate. I said around $180, since that's what it cost for my other cat before. I promised I wouldn't make her pay something crazy like $400.
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    She agreed. The bill came to $169 - exam, check for injuries, flea/tick/heartworm prevention for the household, and a shot because she'd been chewing her leg raw.
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    Pretty reasonable, all things considered. This is where things went south. Here are some of the key messages:
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    Me: "It's $169." Her: "That's the total?" Me: "Yeah. I got her food too but subtracted it."
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    Her: "What all did they do? Do you have a receipt?" I explained the treatments, said the receipt was being emailed.
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    Her: "I want an itemized receipt. I'll pay for the exam, but I don't think it's fair to make me pay for prevention or a shot.
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    That's what you should already do as a pet owner." I told her I'd check with my boyfriend, but reminded her she had agreed to the ~$180 estimate.
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    She kept pressing, asking what vet I went to, and said she'd only cover $60 for the exam.
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    I explained (calmly) that the prevention wasn't "extra" - it was necessary because once one pet is exposed, the whole household is at risk.
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    Fleas and ticks spread fast, and heartworm is d dly. The shot was because she was already chewing her leg raw.
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    None of this would've been needed if she hadn't been let outside. I also told her how unsupported I felt:
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    she went back to bed when I was driving all night, didn't help set the trap, barely acknowledged my cat when we got her back.
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    I said if the roles were reversed, I'd have done everything possible - financially and emotionally to make it right. -
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    Kylee's response? She doubled down: Said prevention is "routine" and should've been done already, so it wasn't on her.
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    Cute Cat with Owner at Home
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    Claimed she did support me (went on walks, prayed, petted my cat once after she came back). Said me asking her to pay more than $60 was "selfish."
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    Brought up that I took a vacation and have a house, while she doesn't, so I "can afford it." Said she was done with our friendship, called it "toxic,"
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    and that she'd rather have no friends than one who made her feel like this. So basically, our 15+ year friendship ended because she let my cat out,
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    agreed to cover the vet bill, then backtracked and blamed me. Now I'm stuck wondering... was I the a hole for asking her to pay the full $169, or was she the one in the wrong for refusing after agreeing?
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    AITAH? Update: for more clarification the vet recommended it to be done. My animals were up to date. I would like to add that she's lives at home with her parents.
  • 33
    BulbasaurRanch You're inflating the cost and passing off regular treatment on to her. You should be getting flea and tick treatment anyways as a pet owner.
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    Also it's not her cat, why would she be expected to come visit it now that it's back? Your way of thinking is absurd
  • 35
    sylbug I think it's kinda petty to expect anything from her at all. She wasn't an employee in charge of your cat who did something negligent, she was
  • 36
    a houseguest and your cat happened to get out when she visited. Sh happens. Sometimes it costs money. Seems to me you're the one willing to lose a friend over this.
  • 37
    throwmeawayyy246 YTA. Any "prevention," is solely on YOU as the pet owner. Your friend was kind to offer to pay the exam fee. If your cat was acting fine, not sure why a trip to the vet was even necessary.
  • 38
    MuffPiece YTA. Prevention is on you. I can't even believe you're trying to fleece her for the full bill.

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